Pat Robertson demands I get a divorce

And here I thought that everything was going so well …

“There is no fellowship between an atheist and somebody who is a believer in God. . . . You’ve got to go find somebody else. Really. I mean either he changes and gives his heart to the Lord, or you go down the road with somebody else. But there is no fellowship between Christ and Belial. I mean, he’s going to be serving the Devil. You’re going to be serving God. Just that simple. And there’ll be conflicts and fighting all the time. There is no middle ground. There is no peace in that situation.”

I’m happy to report that after seven years, my atheism hasn’t affected my marriage. And Robertson’s bigotry hasn’t affected my atheism.

-WKW

The great Mancow waterboarding hoax?

Check out these two videos. The first is Christopher Hitchens being waterboarded for a Vanity Fair story:

And the second is Erich “Mancow” Muller being waterboarded for his radio show:

Now head on over to Gawker and read their exclusive evidence that Mancow’s great waterboarding stunt was all a hoax. My take? Gawker’s information is interesting, but it comes from an unnamed source, so it does need to be viewed with skepticism.

-WKW

What has Afonso done now?

Q: What has Afonso been up to lately?

A: Nothing much. Just hanging out.

-WKW

One-Liner: Paging Liz Jong-Il

People always talk badly about North Korea. But I withhold judgment until I hear the opinions of Kim Jong-Il’s daughter.

-WKW

No one expects a blogaround: Here, there, everywhere

In my ongoing effort to control all your reading choices …

The Sideshow: It’s all about the health insurance companies and other reading.

Frank Chow: May is Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, here are some Asian blogs and bloggers to celebrate.

Left Chattering: Electing a black man President does not mean that Affirmative Action is unnecessary.

Random Babble: Adam Lambert fronting Queen? Call him Mr. Fahrenheit, says Ouyang Dan.

Hot Air: Can we put an end to “white women in peril” journalism now?

The Douchebaggery Report: LGBT Organizations Warn that Lawsuits Could Set Back Progress on Marriage for Same-Sex Couples.

Jesus’ General: NPR goes high school in the fight to learn more about Sonia Sotomayor.

-WKW

Statement from William K. Wolfrum: “We White Men are now an infinitesimally oppressed, slightly less powerful majority”

William K. Wolfrum made this statement to his supporters at 3 p.m.

“My friends, for many years, I have lived a life of divine privilege. By birthright, I was special - white as all get out and as male as could be. Basically, I hit the genetic lottery, and grew to be secure in the fact that all rights available to a human belonged to me.

But those days have come to and end, and with them, a tiny percentage of my hopes and dreams. You see, in just over six months, the United States has seen a black man be elected President of the United States, and a Latin woman be nominated for Supreme Court. My friends, these jobs were once the sole property of men like me. White men. White men who didn’t care about non-white men, and didn’t have to because we’re white. But those times are changing. And I am frightened.

Now, sure, I understand there are white men out there that will help white men like myself bridge the infinitesimally small new gap. I also understand that white men still make up 90 percent or more of Congress, and roughly 100 percent of the mainstream media. But these privileges are no longer purely a given, and in fact have the unseemly feel of large-partism just thrown our way by the minorly less impotent minority class.

Because, you see, not that long ago, when a Supreme Court seat opened up, I had the warm comfort of knowing that I - with no law experience whatsoever - had a much better chance at becoming a Supreme Court Justice than a woman with a Puerto Rican heritage. A woman who would have never even have been given the opportunity to gain law experience not so long ago. But now, I feel the same oppression as the blacks that were enslaved in the U.S., and the Native Americans who were slaughtered. I am now part of an oppressed, negligibly less powerful majority.

So what happens to me now? This year the Supreme Court is off limits to a white, non-law-practicing male like myself. And the Presidency is now firmly in the hands of someone who lacks the comforting whiteness that I and my fellow white men have come to accept as the norm. As someone who once had limitless opportunities, I now find the ease of which I could stumble into those opportunities limited ever-so slightly. But I believe that we White men can come back and reclaim the absolute and complete power we once held. We must begin our own civil rights struggle. We must take to the streets. It is time for a white male movement.

I believe it is time for white men to get together and form an organization that fights for our needs. In keeping with this new “Enlarge the Gap” movement, we should dress uniformly, perhaps in all white to further enhance our whiteness. Let me tell you, organization is key. And while the triflingly more powerful minorities of this nation may scoff at a large, well-organized group of white men marching the streets dressed in white with torches, for we white males it will be the type of thing that empowers us. Because the ruling, pampered minorities do not understand what an angry group of vaguely oppressed white men can accomplish. They have no historical perspective, at least as far as I learned at the private school I attended. They see us only as extremely powerful, but not God-like any longer. This tiny, almost unnoticeable gap between deity and hyper-powerful is a gap we must close.

We must fight. Today, a white male child will be born into an oppressive society where the color of his skin will only be a great advantage, not an incomprehensibly powerful advantage. That child will see that there is now extra competition out there between himself and his dreams. That child will be born into a society that - while understanding his cultural values and belief systems - will no longer automatically fearfully submit to them. That child will be destined for a life of dreams and promises that will only very likely be fulfilled. The guarantee is now gone, and we must get it back.

My white male friends, we shall overcome. We are a theoretically oppressed majority, but our voices can be heard. White men, spit the imperceptibly less silver spoon from your mouths and yell to the skies “The White Man will rise again! Power to the white male.”

Thank you, and I have retained counsel, several bodyguards, a maid, hairstylist and personal valet on this matter.”

-WKW

Republicans: We will not resort to racism or sexism against “Latina Racist”

WASHINGTON — Just 24 hours after President Barack Obama nominated Sofia Sotomayor to take the Supreme Court seat to be vacated by Judge David Souter, Republican leaders have made it clear to not resort to racist and/or sexist attacks against the first female Hispanic to be nominated to the highest court in the land.

Led by Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele, the GOP has made it clear that issues and thoughtfulness will dominate the nomination battle.

“Republicans look forward to learning more about federal appeals court judge Sonia Sotomayor’s thoughts on the importance of the Supreme Court’s fidelity to the Constitution and the rule of law,” said Steele. “Supreme Court vacancies are rare, which makes Sonia Sotomayor’s nomination a perfect opportunity for America to have a thoughtful discussion about the role of the Supreme Court in our daily lives. Republicans will reserve judgment on Sonia Sotomayor until there has been a thorough and thoughtful examination of her legal views.”

Heeding Steele’s call, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich said the GOP will work to fight the Sotomayor nomination by focusing on her judicial record.

“White man racist nominee would be forced to withdraw. Latina woman racist should also withdraw,” said Gingrich.

Aside from Gingrich, other GOP leaders have also stayed on message, focusing on Sotomayor’s vast judicial record, as well as individual cases.

“Here you have a racist – you might want to soften that, and you might want to say a reverse racist,” said Limbaugh. “Well, those days are gone because reverse racists certainly do have the power to implement their power. Obama is the greatest living example of a reverse racist, and now he’s appointed one.”

Like Gingrich and Limbaugh, other Conservatives have come forward with valid criticisms of Sotomayor’s look, keeping with the party’s pledge to keep the fight against her civil.

“Does the nominee still have Diabetes?,” asked Glenn Beck. “Could the Messiah heal her, or does she just not want to ask? What is protocol on miracle healings?”

For Republicans, the Sotomayor nomination is a complex one. At this stage, however, they have made it clear that they are unwilling to drive away Hispanic and women voters by using racist or sexist attacks on the New Yorker.

“This is someone who clearly was picked because she’s a woman and Hispanic, not because she was the best qualified,” said Curt Levey, executive director of the Committee for Justice. “I could certainly see red and purple state Democrats gawking at it and she may very well have to withdraw her nomination.”

The call for sensitivity and civility from the GOP has thus far trickled down to the Conservative media, who view the pick as controversial, but have focused solely on Sotomayor’s record as a judge.

“Judge Sotomayor may indeed be dumb and obnoxious; but she’s also female and Hispanic, and those are the things that count nowadays,” said the National Review’s Mark Hemingway.

-WKW

Samuel Alito - Empathizer

“When I get a case about discrimination, I have to think about people in my own family who suffered discrimination because of their ethnic background or because of religion or because of gender. And I do take that into account.” - Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito.

Read more from Glenn Greenwald about the transparent attacks on Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor.

-WKW

Today in celebrity journalism

A straight-forward look at what some of the biggest stars in the U.S. news media have been discussing:

David Broder: Barack Obama and Dick Cheney are very serious men and their speeches on torture and Gitmo were splendid. Both should be applauded for not wanting any investigation of torture and Gitmo.

Ross Douthat: “American women are wealthier, healthier and better educated than they were 30 years ago” So why are they so incredibly unhappy?

Jake Tapper: Sonia Sotomayor’s nomination to the Supreme Court means that Democrats have a big opening to play the race card, while Republican insiders say the GOP will be “sensitive” out of fear of losing Hispanic, women voters.

George Will: “Like conventional liberals, [Sotomayor] embraces identity politics, including the idea of categorical representation: A person is what his or her race, ethnicity, gender or sexual preference is, and members of a particular category can be represented — understood, empathized with — only by persons of the same identity.”

Britt Hume: “That is why the symbol of justice is of a lady balancing scales, but wearing a blindfold. Once sensitivity to the parties and worry about the consequences come into play, the blindfold is off and the law is vulnerable to being not upheld but adjusted to achieve the desired result.”

Joe Klein: Everyone is making a big deal about North Korea and its nukes. It’s really not that big of a deal and we can’t do anything about it anyway.

-WKW

Treat Jake Tapper like the star he is or he won’t play with the little people any more

Just had an interesting time with Jake Tapper on Twitter. Tapper - who wouldn’t call out Rush Limbaugh for being a homophobic, sexist racist if he was waterboarded - took offense at a comment I made toward him.

Some context: At today’s White House Presser, Tapper basically took the GOP’s talking points against SCOTUS nominee Sonia Sotomayor, and turned it into a question. It was the type of pointless media nonsense that generally gets under my skin. So, I sent these Tweets his way, putting my own spin on them:

Dear God @jaketapper - “People are saying Sotomayor is a radical lesbian communist heroin-abuser. Your thoughts?”

-

Great @jaketapper Questions from history “Adolf, some say Jews are baby-eaters, others say they are Christ-killers. Thoughts?”

-

Great @jaketapper Questions from history “Ari, some say Iraq will nuke us tomorrow, others say next week. Thoughts?

-

Great @jaketapper Questions from history “Pontius, some say Christ is a heretic, others say he’s an enemy of the state? Thoughts?

-

Great @jaketapper Questions from history: “Barack, I kiss your ass daily and you were nice to me at #nerdprom, so why are you mean to me?”

Anyway, Tapper found the satirical “question” to Adolf to be in poor taste, and sent these Tweets in return:

i would really appreciate it @wolfrum if u didnt send me jokes about “Jews” as “baby-eaters” or “Christ-killers.” Not funny.

-

and i would appreciate if @chloebeetle didnt RT jokes that use the Holocaust for humor as well. thanks

-

Twitter has become a huge resource for ppl who - i can only assume -as children only got negative attention and learned the wrong lesson.

-

Thankfully most tweeps arent like that. But at some pt they will really start chasing ppl away. Who has time or space in their lives?

First off, I don’t mind the purposeful misinterpretation of the Jewish bit. The guy works for Disney after all.

What I find much more interesting is how he reacted after that. Basically, in a span of maybe 20 minutes, he managed to show all that is wrong with the mainstream news business. He:

1) Set up a strawman question that was pure GOP talking point.

2) He ignored the point I made, focusing only on how I made my point.

3) He mocked me, and my parents, in full “attack the messenger” shrillness.

4) He pointed out that stars like him won’t stay on Twitter if they have to deal with such behavior.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present Jake Tapper, the official hairdo of an overpampered, overly self-important, and so often purposely impotent U.S. news media.

-WKW

How Jose Canseco gives back to the sporting world - by getting knocked out

Say what you will about former baseball-slugger-turned-snitch Jose Canseco - He sure knows how to give the sporting world what it so desperately wants: The sight of him being knocked the f*** out. He turned the trick again last night, pummeling the fists of South Korean super heavyweight Hong Man Choi with his face for a full 77 seconds.

Jose Canseco came out swinging but didn’t last long in his debut in mixed martial arts.

The former Oakland Athletics slugger was defeated by South Korean super heavyweight Hong Man Choi by a knockout just 1 minute, 17 seconds into the first round at Yokohama Arena.

The referee stopped the fight when the 7-foot-2, 330-pound Choi knocked Canseco to the mat and started punching his head.

Previously, Canseco proved that he can also get the crap kicked out of him by a short guy, as he was KO’d by former football player Vai Sikahema.

One must applaud Canseco for letting us all see karma being played out upside his head.

-WKW

One-Liner: Responsibilities

Now the question must be asked - Where does Judge Sonia Sotomayor stand on the “Bill of Responsibilities” and “Bill of Obligations” which Judge Clarence Thomas follows?

-WKW

One-Liner: A bold prediction

By the end of the day, the Internet will be clogged with sexist and racist attacks on Obama Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor. And the filibuster against her will begin tomorrow.

-WKW

No one expects a blogaround - Let’s get ready to rumble edition

Rumor has it that tomorrow President Barack Obama will make his nomination to fill the Supreme Court seat left by Justice Souter. And there is exactly a 100 percent chance that the GOP will fight the nomination with every tool in their box, even if the nominee is Jesus T. Christ.

For those of you looking to follow the news on the battle to get an SC nominee through Congress, head over to the Third Branch, an offshoot site of Crooks & Liars created by John Amato. We are quite close to a marathon new news cycle, and Third Branch will be a place to wade through the inevitable nonsense to be hurled at both the nominee and Obama.

In other news …

Joseph Childers: I watched Glenn Beck’s entire comedy special and all I got was this stupid blog post.

MicShots: Take a look at Michael Shatz’s new blog, which includes some personal tales that couldn’t be more pertinent these days.

bastard.logic: Now that Scrabble comes in pink with a focus on fashion and glitter, maybe girls will finally take to it.

Pandagon: Gay former Army Ranger in WSJ op-ed: it’s time to repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

The Other Side of Sixty: The Irish Child Abuse Commission Report is finally public and it is horrific. Tens of thousands of innocent Irish children tortured in state-sanctioned and inspected religious institutions.

Chuck for …: Our deepest condolences go out to Chuck and family for their heartbreaking loss.

-WKW

Lolpopes: I can has Ratzinger?

Join the fun! Make your own Lolpopes here!

-WKW

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