William K. Wolfrum announces he will now take full antibiotics prescriptions, but that’s about it

Announcement from William K. Wolfrum:

My friends, the world is a complicated place, full of problems. More problems than I care to list, really, but you get the idea. I mean, you know. FULL of problems.

Now, I like the idea of being a good guy who cares about things. I talk a pretty good game. But the reality is, I’m sort of a narcissistic jerk. The fact that I can admit that makes me a better person than you, but that’s getting a little ticky-tack. Basically, helping out in the world is a pain in the ass. It requires travel and exertion and thinking and not watching “Survivor.” Not helping out is way, way better. But that’s too selfish. So, I’ve decided I must do something.

Lately, I’ve read a couple articles about how for years people have not been taking their full antibiotics prescriptions. This is resulting in an increasing ineffectiveness in the antibiotics as disease bacteria start figuring out their passwords. Or something to that effect. Essentially, what it means is that sooner or later, antibiotics will be useless to humanity and we’ll all die horrible deaths from infection.

So, here’s the deal: From here on out, I will always take all the antibiotics prescribed to me. I admit it, I haven’t before. I was totally part of the problem. But not now. Now I’m part of the solution. Now, I’m helping, not hindering humanity. I’m doing my part. Or at least I will be if and when I’m next prescribed antibiotics. But don’t expect more. I’m probably already doing more than you.

In conclusion, get off my back already.

-WKW