Arizona’s nutty politicians: Seeing UFOs and not seeing violence in Baghdad
March 31, 2007
Former Arizona Gov. Fife Symington has decided to share with the world his otherworldly adventure. Symington has admitted he saw the infamous “Phoenix Lights.”
“I’m a pilot and I know just about every machine that flies,” Symington said. “It was bigger than anything that I’ve ever seen. It remains a great mystery. Other people saw it, responsible people. I don’t know why people would ridicule it.”
After being harshly ridiculed, Symington added that “It just felt otherworldly. In your gut, you could just tell it was otherworldly.”
Still, while many feel Symington’s claim is otherworldly, many feel his belief that he saw a UFO is much more valid than Arizona Sen. John McCain’s admission that some have seen peaceful streets in Baghdad that they could stroll down, or McCain’s actual belief he could become U.S. President some day.
“Claiming to see a UFO is just nuts,” said one political commentator. “Claiming you can saunter down a Baghdad street is a sign you’ve totally lost touch with reality.”
-WKW
Blogger offers Texas conservatives $500 to abort themselves
March 30, 2007
A Blogger has proposed that Texas legislators offering women considering abortion cash to not have abortion be offered $500 to abort themselves.
William K. Wolfrum, who added the offer is also good for conservative radio talk show hosts, said Friday the money might persuade the legislators to make the world a better place.
Wolfrum said there were far too many Texas conservatives running around mucking up the U.S.
“If this incentive would give pause and end the existence of even 5 percent of these conservatives, perhaps we wouldn’t have lost so many Americans and helped in the slaughter of so many Iraqi civilians,” Wolfrum said. “And really, it would make the great state of Texas much more livable.”
-WKW
Rush Limbaugh thinks America is three-quarters ‘blathering idiot’
March 30, 2007
Rush Limbaugh, having not gotten in to trouble for smuggling penis-enhancing drugs to sex tourist locations or blatantly mocking the handicapped in more than a week, has now decided to let the vast majority of Americans know that he thinks they’re a bunch of idiots.
“USA Today’s got a poll: ‘Do you think something’s wrong about the firing of eight US attorneys?’” said Limbaugh. “72 percent said yes. 72 percent of the American people, a bunch of blithering idiots who have no idea what they’re talking about, but yet they voted, so these polls matter.”
Soon after Limbaugh made these comments, Arnold Schwarzenegger and 72 percent of the nation shrugged and wondered why they should give a crap about what an adulterous, drug addicted, neocon water boy says, anyway.
-WKW
Giuliani would let wife sit in on Cabinet meetings - doesn’t identify which wife, however
March 29, 2007
Rudy Giuliani, who believes strongly in marriage and family - provided things don’t get too tough in the marriage and the family is politically beneficial to him - told Barbara Walters that he’d allow his wife to sit in on Cabinet meetings if he were elected U.S. President.
“If she wanted to. If they were relevant to something that she was interested in. I mean that would be something that I’d be very, very comfortable with.”
It wasn’t immediately apparent which of his three wives Giuliani was speaking of, but rumor has it he was speaking of his third, and most current wife, Judith, who he’s had a stellar, three-year marriage with, and counting.
“None of us, at least I don’t think any of us, have perfect lives,” Giuliani said. “I can say very credibly to people, ‘Judge me by my public performance. Whatever mistakes I’ve made in my personal life, I made. I’m sorry for them.’ ”
While Giuliani said his wife would have full run of the White House should the former New York mayor be elected, reports are circulating that estranged children Andrew and Caroline will likely be deported to somewhere in Cuba until his term expires.
Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards could not be reached for comment, as a spokesman said he was busy “doing it” with his wife of 30 years, Elizabeth.
-WKW
From the top down, U.S. becoming a nation of cheaters
March 29, 2007
Playing a friendly game of cards with a group of Brazilians not long ago, my partner chastised me for not protecting my cards well enough and allowing my opponent to see them. The insinuation being that it was a given my opponents would try to see my cards, and it was my fault, not my opponents lack of card-playing ethics.
My partner’s reasoning was sound for one simple reason - Brazilians are notorious cheaters.
A perfect example of that was displayed in the 2002 World Cup, when Brazil - the eventual champions - was playing a group match against Turkey. Surrendering a corner kick, a player for Turkey booted the ball overly hard at Brazilian striker Rivaldo, hitting him in the thigh.
Rivaldo dramatically fell to the ground clutching his head as if he’d taken a shotgun blast to the face. The Turkish player was expelled.
In Brazil, this type of cheating is to be expected. In a land where 99 percent of those in congress are millionaires - with the vast majority earning their wealth after being elected - doing whatever it takes to succeed is the norm, ethics be damned.
Travel North to the United States in 2007, and it’s no surprise that the man chasing the most cherished record in Major League Baseball - Hank Aaron’s mark of 755 career home runs - is widely regarded as a cheat of proportions rivaling his muscle-bound cranium.
While one must assume innocence until proven guilty, it takes but the slightest bit of common sense to see that San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds used illegal drugs in order to advance his baseball career. Evidence both circumstantial and concrete point to Bonds using illegal steroids to bolster his body.
Bonds, of course denies this, however, and will take the field in 2007 with 734 home runs - some 240 of them after the age of 37, and after displaying a completely revamped, muscle-bound body.
Is it any surprise, however, that the outrage over Bonds’ obvious rule breaking has been somewhat muted? In years past, professional athletes have been taken to task for such illegal dalliances. These days, it has become nearly an accepted byproduct of the game, and therefore of society.
Let there be no doubt that this grudging acceptance of cheaters has, like Brazil, come from the top down. As Glenn Greenwald so accurately points out in his Salon article “Lying to Congress has become a Republican principle, literally”, cheating and lying about cheating has become an integral part of the GOP platform, and has been for nearly two eons.
“Illegal behavior — in the form of, among other things, continuous and deliberate deceit of the Congress — is pervasive at the highest levels of the Bush Justice Department and it has plainly become a central part of the Republican ethos,” writes Greenwald.
As much as living in a nation with an out-of-control budget deficit helps create a citizenship of debtors, having the top levels of government so blatantly cheat has helped create a nation of cheaters. Because while trickle-down economics has been a resounding failure, trickle-down dishonesty has taken root, with the sporting world being the perfect example of ethics tossed aside.
Because in the end, this win-at-all-costs, stay-on-top attitude permeates all levels of American society, helping to create citizens who now know that they had better keep their cards well hidden, for fear of who’s peaking.
-WKW
Oceans, people, the U.S. is surrounded by oceans
March 28, 2007
Note the above map. Note the fucking oceans.
The terrorist attacks of Sept. 11 took place in part because U.S. leaders chose to ignore a threat to national security.
The oceans did not fail us.
Ocean deniers
“The terrorists will follow us home if we leave.”
“We leave Iraq without finishing the job, they’ll follow us here
- Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell
“If we leave, they’ll follow us here. It’s as simple as that.”
“Cannot give Iraq to the terrorists or they’ll follow us here.”
“We leave this place, chaos in the region, and they’ll follow us home.”
“We have to go where they are, or they’ll follow us home.”
“We’re fighting the terrorists overseas so we don’t have to fight them on our streets.”
-WKW
Blind Ambition: Chapter 5
March 28, 2007
(Note: I’d long meant to tackle John Dean’s recounting of Watergate, “Blind Ambition” and have recently started reading it. I will be giving short recaps of the book over the following weeks.)
Blind Ambition
Chapter Five: Containment
Synopsis: John Dean proudly struts about the White House, as his power grows and he begins to get more face time with Nixon. The President himself holds a ballsy press conference and talks of the Watergate scandal, “What really hurts in matters of this sort is not the fact that they occur. What really hurts is you try to cover it up. Meanwhile, Dean and friends spend copious amounts of time trying to cover it up. Dean continues to stay ahead of the game by getting advanced info from the FBI’s investigation. Nixon vows revenge against all who have wronged him. Fred Fielding takes over as the new bag man whose job it is to deliver payola to those that committed the crime. The first indictments for the break-in are handed down. Upon his re-election, Nixon fires all political appointees, save a scant few. And by “upon his re-election” he does it the actual night of the election. Dean marries Maureen Biner.
Fast fact: G.Gordon Liddy later wrote a book “Silent Coup”, claiming the whole Watergate affair was about Dean trying to protect Biner from information that would have linked her to a call-girl operation, and that Dean masterminded it all and Nixon and the rest were but naive rubes. The book’s publisher settled with Dean in 1997, following a libel suit. Liddy is still generally considered a psycho.
Money Quote: “‘Sure Bob,’ I replied, swallowing hard. I was astounded. They’re really going to do it, I was thinking - take control of the whole executive branch and pull the strings.” — Dean, after Haldeman told him the administration planned to fire every political appointee and replace them with pro-Nixonies after the election.
Previous:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
-WKW
Dear Fox News: Tony Snow worked for you - you have to mention it EVERY time
March 27, 2007
Sure, maybe this is nitpicky of an organization that has proven itself to despise every last bit of journalistic ethics, but it’s the sort of thing that bugs me.
You see, when you once had a working relationship with someone, and then after they leave you write news stories about them, you MUST mention that in the news story. Even as a small blurb at the bottom. But you HAVE to do it, or it appears you are hiding something, even in a story reporting that the man has cancer. Having a link to his bio doesn’t cut it.
Because in this story: “White House Spokesman Tony Snow Has Cancer Again” you’d never guess that Snow worked for Fox News for nearly a decade.
“We Report, you Decide” just doesn’t work if you don’t actually report as you’re supposed to. But that’s just journalistic ethics is all. Once you’ve accepted having your on-camera hairdos repeatedly lie to your viewers, little stuff like this is obviously meaningless.
As it should be, I suppose. The RNC doesn’t worry much about journalistic integrity either.
-WKW
Mike Davidson kicks ass - John McCain, not so much
March 27, 2007
This was a must to post. It seems John McCain is pro-theft and pro-gay marriage now:
John McCain’s people commandeered my world-renowned MySpace design template and did a few things wrong:
1. They did not credit me for the template, even though the template explicitly requested credit.
2. They used my own unmodified imagery, specifically for the “Contacting John McCain” table.
3. As if #2 wasn’t bad enough, the McCain crew is actually pulling their image directly from my server on each page load. So every time someone visits the McCain MySpace page, my bandwidth is being used to deliver part of the page! Bad McCain!
…So, the only thing necessary to effectively commandeer McCain’s page with my own messaging was to simply replace my own sample image on my server with a newly created sample on my server. No server but my own was touched and no laws were broken. The immaculate hack.
Abortion? The Iraq War? Probably too heavy to joke about. Gay marriage seemed like a more of a non-lethal subject to center the prank around.
So with a few minutes in Photoshop and a quick FTP, a new John McCain was born…
So as McCain morphs more and more into a bad impersonation of Bob Dole (“I’ve earned this nomination dammit! Now get off my front lawn!”) Mike Davidson earns nothing but praise. Well played.
-WKW
Best wishes to Tony Snow, Elizabeth Edwards: Two great allies of the cancer community
March 27, 2007
Proving that cancer doesn’t care what side of the aisle you’re on, Presidential Spokesman Tony Snow has joined Elizabeth Edwards as cancer survivors who have seen the disease return.
Snow had previously battled colon cancer, and now, reportedly cancer has spread to his liver.
Last week Snow had this to say about Elizabeth Edward’s battle with cancer:
“When you see an Elizabeth Edwards saying, ‘I’m going to embrace life and I’m going to move forward,’ that is a wonderful thing.”
We know that Snow will take the same approach, and his positive attitude will make him, along with Edwards, two fantastic allies to those fighting cancer throughout the U.S.
Our best wishes, and appreciation go out to both of them.
-WKW
GOP finds a true ‘Reagan Republican’ candidate - Ronald Reagan
March 26, 2007
By William K. Wolfrum
Special to WilliamKWolfrum.com
WASHINGTON — In a shocking political maneuver bound to send shock waves through Washington, the estate of Ronald Reagan has announced that the corpse of Reagan will be throwing its hat in the ring for a full-fledged run for the GOP nomination for the 2008 U.S. Presidential election.
“When we say ‘throwing his hat in the ring’ we mean that figuratively, of course,” said Reagan campaign manager William Casey, who himself died in 1986. “No one can fit in Regan’s shoes, not even Ronnie, because of decay, but he really comes the closest.”
With a weak field of conservative hopefuls lining up for the GOP nomination, and pundits lamenting the lack of a “true Reagan Republican,” many have come out to support the Reagan campaign.
“You need to accept the fact that it’s a lackluster field out there,” said Reagan adviser John Sears. “We have very little doubt that a dead Ronald Reagan will literally destroy anyone the Democrats can throw at us. Ronnie vs. Hillary? Forget about it.”
The move apparently took many Democrats by surprise, and leaders seemed unwilling to say anything bad about the man so many refer to as “St. Ronnie.”
“Ronald Reagan was a great American,” said Sen. John Kerry. “Is America ready for a 96-year-old President that will have been dead for more than four years? We’ll have to let the voters decide.
“And when I say ‘was a great American,’ I believe I mean ‘is a great American,’ ” added Kerry. “I’m really going to have to research this some before I comment more.”
Some democrats have openly supported a Reagan run.
“In a time when America is too weak to fight in a never-ending war, Reagan is a man who could lead us,” said Sen. Joe Lieberman. “I’d vote for him, or pretty much anyone my party, I mean the GOP, nominates.”
For their part, Conservative pundits have been unequivocal in their support for the former President.
“Honestly, he doesn’t look a day over six months dead,” said Michelle Malkin. “A man with the testosterone Reagan packed is still incredibly potent up to 10 years after his death, and that’s a scientific fact.”
Sears pointed out that while many point to Reagan’s fight with Alzheimer’s Disease as a possible stumbling point for the campaign, he pointed out that the Reagan’s illness has now been in remission for nearly two years.
“Indeed,” said Instapundit’s Glenn Reynolds.
Indeed many are excited about the possibility of the U.S. re-entering a “feel-good” era of economic development.
“Reaganomics actually makes a lot more sense with the great man being dead,” said Alan Greenspan, who, appearances aside, maintains life.
Reagan’s biggest fan, radio entertainer Rush Limbaugh said he will devote as much time as possible between trips to the Dominican Republic to stump for Reagan.
“This man single-handedly destroyed communism,” said Limbaugh on his radio show. “If he’s maintained any physical integrity at all - say, he still has an arm attached - this is a no-brainer. The terrorists have to be shaking in their shoes now.”
Regardless of the early support, a long campaign likely is going to cost the Reagan campaign much more than his rivals, as refrigeration costs will likely be massive, though reports have trickled in that the Reagan campaign has already received millions of dollars in campaign donations from religious right organizations.
“Who better to campaign for pro-life causes than a dead man,” said anti-abortion spokesperson Shelley Shannon. “He truly understands the issue on a level few can.”
Time will tell whether this new Reagan era will explode as the previous one did, but Sears made it clear, his man has shaken off the cobwebs and maggots, and is ready for a tough campaign.
“Oh, it’ll be hard, we understand that,” said Sears. “But look at all the supporters John McCain has, even though it’s obvious he passed away sometime during the 2000 Presidential campaign.
“People are saying the Republican party is dead, and we want to look the American people straight in the eye and say ‘Exactly. Vote Reagan,’” added Sears.
-WKW
Does the U.S. have the Constitution to stop the coming war on Iran?
March 25, 2007
Now that Iran is in full saber-rattling mode and holding British troops it appears that those who predicted a U.S.-Israel attack on Iran by April may well have been correct.
There are, of course, many who will say that Bush is in no position to go to Congress to obtain Congressional authorization, and will need an “event” to undertake a war on Iran, but even that seems fairly unimportant.
Because when all’s said and done, George W. Bush and those like him are trying valiantly to change the U.S., and are succeeding. They despise democracy. They will tell you flat out that the U.S. is the greatest nation in the world, then will decry immigration and homosexuals while spying on their own citizens and discussing reining in free speech. They hate what the U.S. is, and they are working to change it.
So Bush and his PNAC overlords won’t be going to Congress, hat in hand, requesting permission to get us stuck in Iran. They don’t need Congress. Really, do you think this recent talking point by Tony Snow is an accident?
(Congress) does not have constitutional oversight responsibility over the White House, which is why by our reaching out, we’re doing something that we’re not compelled to do by the Constitution, but we think common sense suggests that we ought to get the whole story out, which is what we’re doing.
Now, this may have been spoken in regard to the attorney scandal, but it’s going to go much deeper, And you’ll be hearing it more often, as the Neocon death brigade works overtime to make sure as many Americans as possible believe that the U.S. Congress is impotent and weak, and that the Executive Branch is the only thing that matters.
Is this what the framers of the Constitution believed? No, but they could care less. Bush and the people pulling his strings want to fundamentally change the United States. And they will gladly destroy it, and/or drag the entire world into a Middle Eastern nightmare to do it.
The attack on Iran is coming. There’s no way Bush leaves office without attacking them, and making a final determined effort to obliterate the U.S. Constitution and the American Way once and for all.
-WKW
Blind Ambition: Chapter 4
March 25, 2007
(Note: I’d long meant to tackle John Dean’s recounting of Watergate, “Blind Ambition” and have recently started reading it. I will be giving short recaps of the book over the following weeks.)
Blind Ambition
Chapter Four: Linchpin of Conspiracy
Synopsis: Fred Fielding (photo above) calls boss John Dean to let him know that the Washington Post has broke the story that James McCord of President Richard Nixon’s reelection committee and four unnamed Cubans were arrested trying to bug Larry O’Brien’s office at the Democratic National Committee headquarters. One of the Cubans has a check from Howard Hunt, a CIA Operative and member of the White House “plumbers” unit. Fan, meet shit.
Mitchell, Ehrlichman and Haldeman all play it cool, while most in the White House blame G. Gordon Liddy, even though they all knew he was a lunatic in the first place and continued to let him operate. Everyone works - generally with Dean’s help - to get themselves and the President distanced from the stupid affair, which only serves to pull everyone deeper into trouble. The fact that the money used for the operation was from Nixon’s campaign fund is a big issue, as the campaign has had a total scofflaw attitude regarding campaign finance laws. Dean takes a while before he realizes he’s just as screwed as everyone else as the cover up continues unabated, as everyone from Nixon on down plots how they should handle things. More money is siphoned from the campaign funds for a clandestine “hush money” payment to the Cubans and McCord.
Money quote 1: “John, never, I repeat, never, has an Attorney General that I know of, as long as I’ve been here, and that’s quite a while now, reversed a major case after an investigation has begun and turned up evidence of a criminal violation.” — Assistant Attorney General Henry Peterson to John Dean, after Dean had been instructed to find out if the Justice Department had some type of vendetta against union labor leaders.
Money Quote 2: ” … And there was a phony State Department cable, whose obvious purpose was to convince the reader that President Kennedy had ordered the assassination of Vietnam’s President Diem. The phony cable was accompanied by several memos between Hunt and Coulson on how to leak the contents to Bill Lambert of Life Magazine.” — Dean’s recollection of what he found when going through Howard Hunt’s White House safe. Other findings included a pistol.
Previous:
-WKW
Evander Holyfield: The perfect fighter for a nation that worships hypocrites
March 25, 2007
It is somewhat apropos that Evander Holyfield has managed to stick himself back into the limelight of boxing’s heavyweight division. In a time when hypocrisy is one of the nation’s greatest exports, it seems natural that Holyfield should be in the mix.
In an era where Dick Cheney pounds the desk with one hand while clutching his chest with the other as he questions the patriotism of any that oppose him - while being part of an administration that abuses wounded U.S. veterans by leaving them in mold-drenched, cockroach-infested hospital rooms - Holyfield is the prototype boxer. And in a world where Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich preach family values while divorcing their wives and having sordid affairs, Evander should thrive.
Holyfield has long been one of sports’ great hypocrites. Here’s a man who is widely admired and given endorsement deals for his warrior spirit and Christianity. And while Holyfield deserves respect for his accomplishments and his work inside the ring, his behavior has consistently been an embarrassment, albeit mostly ignored.
Holyfield has fathered at least nine children out of wedlock. He is on his third marriage. And now, his name has come up prominently in a massive steroid scandal. And as evidence uncovered by Sports Illustrated points directly at Holyfield (or “Evan Field”), he proclaims his innocence.
But Holyfield fights on, an inspiration to a nation that expects its role models to be consistently bad people. Perhaps not surprisingly, even in the ring Holyfield has many critics, who point to his repeated use of his head as a weapon in the ring, the same head that caused Mike Tyson to psychologically break and bite off a chunk of “The Real Deal’s” ear.
Holyfield recently stopped a limited fighter by the name of Vinny Maddalone, continuing his comeback and inspiring Michael Woods to write a fawning column - “Is this comeback the real deal for Holyfield?” - over him. While Woods is correct that Holyfield may have success against some of the more mediocre heavyweights of this era, his comeback should come to a screeching halt if he has the hubris to face someone of the size and quality of Wladimir Klitschko.
While you can’t count Holyfield out in the ring, the comebacks of 44-year-old fighters tend to end up with said fighter face down on the canvas being counted over. And while we hope Holyfield is able to get through this latest incarnation of his fighting career sans permanent injury, we know that his reputation will stay as clean as it ever has.
Because whether its in the ring or on “Dancing with the Stars,” Evander Holyfield is the perfect fighter and celebrity for a generation that adores hypocrites.
-WKW
President George W. Bush hates the troops and thinks you’re a pussy
March 24, 2007
By demanding that the U.S. Congress give him whatever he wants, the moment he wants it, President George W. Bush has delighted his base.
“One of the most urgent legislative priorities is to fund our troops fighting the war on terror. I’ve asked Congress to pass an emergency war spending bill that gives our troops what they need, without strings and without delay,” said Bush.
Bush went on to add that not passing a spending bill meant that U.S. troops could face shortfalls larger than they already do. Then he promised to veto any bill that wasn’t exactly what he wanted and allow for an open-ended war.
Bush’s base (listed below*) was thrilled at the manly attitude of the President. Of course, Bush’s point was clear - the vast majority of Americans are cowards and he has no interest in their opinions.
Disapproval on Iraq Hits Record
A record number of Americans disapprove of the war in Iraq, and a clear majority now favors the eventual withdrawal of U.S. forces, even if civil order has not been restored there — potentially a tipping point in public attitudes on the war.
While solutions remain vexing, for the first time ABC News/Washington Post polls show a narrow majority of Americans support setting a deadline for the withdrawal of U.S. forces. Two-thirds oppose George W. Bush’s troop surge; most oppose it strongly.
* Bush’s current base (subject to change):
-WKW
