War on Terror + Cold War = Neocon wet dream

You know, haven’t we all missed the old days, when we’d get to hear daily about the inevitable threat to our very existence in the form of a nuke storm? Well, those Cold War days are coming back.

Putin: U.S. has triggered new arms race

President Vladimir Putin said Thursday that tests of new Russian missiles were a response to the planned deployment of U.S. missile defense installations and other forces in Europe, suggesting Washington has triggered a new arms race.

In a clear reference to the United States, he harshly criticized “imperialism” in global affairs and warned that Russia will strengthen its military potential to maintain a global strategic balance.

“It wasn’t us who initiated a new round of arms race,” Putin said when asked about Russia’s missile tests at a news conference after talks in the Kremlin with Greek President Karolos Papoulias.

This is fantastic news for the PNAC death brigade, who are secretly enthralled at the chances the U.S. can reignite wars with Vietnam, Korea, Central America, Spain and England while one of their own remains at the helm of the U.S.

-WKW

When Feds start looking to Sci-Fi writers to stop terror, it’s time to just give up

Shia Law sounds like a real pain in the ass if you ask me. And I haven’t prayed five times in the last eon, let alone five times a day. All I know, is, it’s going to be a real bitch when this administration finally completely loses to the Islamototalitariazis.

Because when you see things like this come up in the news in a short time, you start thinking that the U.S. is pulling a 1919 Black Sox scandal on us and just plain taking a dive in the war on terror.

““The terrorists know what they want and they will stop at nothing to get it. By force and intimidation, they seek to impose a dictatorship of fear, under which every man, woman, and child lives in total obedience to their ideology,” says Dick Cheney.

So the Department of Homeland Defense does the most logical thing: They look for the advice of Sci-fi writers.

Sci-fi writers join war on terror

Looking to prevent the next terrorist attack, the Homeland Security Department is tapping into the wild imaginations of a group of self-described “deviant” thinkers: science-fiction writers.

“We spend our entire careers living in the future,” says author Arlan Andrews, one of a handful of writers the government brought to Washington this month to attend a Homeland Security conference on science and technology.

Those responsible for keeping the nation safe from devastating attacks realize that in addition to border agents, police and airport screeners, they “need people to think of crazy ideas,” Andrews says.

The writers make up a group called Sigma, which Andrews put together 15 years ago to advise government officials. The last time the group gathered was in the late 1990s, when members met with government scientists to discuss what a post-nuclear age might look like, says group member Greg Bear. He has written 30 sci-fi books, including the best seller Darwin’s Radio.

Now, the Homeland Security Department is calling on the group to help with the government’s latest top mission of combating terrorism.

Grab your prayer mats. We’re doomed.

-WKW

Meet Alexander Povetkin: Future heavyweight champion

That Alexander Povetkin will earn a share of the heavyweight title is a no-brainer. They hand out heavyweight championship belts at the Russian border. In Povetkin, however, we may have something special. Aggressive, strong, active, powerful and athletic, he has burst out to a 12-0 (10 KOs) record to start his pro career after winning the gold medal at super-heavyweight in the 2004 Olympics.

Take a look at Povetkin’s recent KO of Patrice L’Heureux and you’ll see why ESPN’s Dan Rafael calls him “the best heavyweight prospect in the world,” and why Povetkin may be the next great heavyweight in boxing.

-WKW

America-hating neocons beg Bush for more war; tell public to screw themselves

Bill Kristol and Fred Kagan have been wrong every step of the way in regards to Iraq, and U.S. troops are pulling the dead bodies of their comrades from the quagmire of Iraqi civil war daily.

But Kristol and Kagan still want more war, despite anything the majority of the American public want, or what the majority of elected officials want.

And they still have more power to get their agenda accomplished than you do. And they will do all they can to convince the puppet-in-chief that U.S. bombs have to start blowing things up in Iran.

Congress Gives In On War Funding: Now can we fight the enemy?

Meanwhile, the State Department toys with fantasy diplomatic solutions based on overtures toward Iran and Syria. The Iranian regime has resolved to help Iraqi militants kill as many Americans as possible. The Syrian regime permits al Qaeda terrorists to move into Iraq for the same purpose every day. These actions are not the result of some sort of miscommunication that could be cleared up with a frank discussion of real interests. They represent policy decisions in Tehran and Damascus to defeat us in Iraq. Diplomatic engagement by itself is a trap, at least until we have turned the tide in Iraq and regained leverage.

…

Congressional battles calling into doubt our commitment to winning in Iraq have been the major threat to progress since the president began pursuing the right strategy in January. The president, supported by congressional Republicans, has beaten back that threat. Now he needs to deal with his own administration, which has not made up its collective mind to support the president’s strategy wholeheartedly. Mixed messages from Bush’s advisers and cabinet undermine the efforts of our commanders in the field. The president adopted a new strategy four months ago. The new commander took over three months ago, and the new ambassador not long after. All the military units will soon be in place, and the provincial reconstruction teams constituted. This is no time to hedge or hesitate. Now is the time to put everything behind making the president’s strategy-which looks to be a winning strategy-succeed.

As always, Kristol and Kagan demand that free thought and debate be crushed. And that the U.S. needs to commit itself fully for multiple generations of warfare.

And the President of the U.S. is listening to them, just as much as he’s ignoring the 70 percent or more of Americans who consider him an abject failure. The Kristol’s and Kagan’s of this world have little interest in the United States of America. They have their own agenda. And while the years have shown them to be dangerous crackpots with no real knowledge of warfare, diplomacy, or anything else really, the President remains one of their final allies. And he’s all they really need.

-WKW

Bloated Republican Party shot by boy, 11

WASHINGTON - The Republican Party, bloated by corruption, failure, ego and arrogance, was shot today by 11-year-old Jamison Stone in Alabama.

“It feels really good,” Jamison said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. “It’s a good accomplishment. I probably won’t ever kill anything else that big.”

Jamison said he shot the huge political party eight times with a .50-caliber revolver and chased it for three hours through hilly woods before finishing it off with a point-blank shot.

Witnesses say the GOP fought for its life until the very end, desperately trying to make deals with lobbyists and attempting to funnel lucrative government contracts to its pals.

“It really didn’t want to die,” said a witness. “It was bleeding pretty bad and staggering, but it was still trying to pass a tax cut for oil companies, when it just started wailing something about voter fraud and then dropped.”

In keeping with its will, the carcass of the GOP will be burned in front of starving families and its ashes blown into the eyes of minorities.

The GOP’s head is being mounted by Jerry Cunningham of Jerry’s Taxidermy

“It’s huge,” he said. “It’s just the biggest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Friends and relatives of the GOP could not be reached for comment.

-WKW

The N.Y. Times hearts Rudy Giuliani

Head over to Digby’s as she takes a look at Michael Powell’s love letter to Rudy Giuliani on the pages of the New York Times.

One line by Powell is comical in that it takes every bad quality of George W. Bush, and assigns them to Giuliani as good qualities:

Ideological consistency is not Mr. Giuliani’s groove; leadership and destiny are. So is self-assurance.

It seems the Times has found their candidate. Now it will be interesting to see if the U.S. is ready for another visionary President who believes he’s leading a charge for historical destiny and American survival in a perpetual war for existence against the Middle East. As well as one who will actually joke about his authoritarian leanings.

-WKW

In the face of failure, Bush and crew hold on tightly to fear

When the “anthrax attacks” came not long after 9/11, I was living in an apartment in Southern California. I went out one day to get my mail and saw a neighbor, wearing surgical gloves, trying to get her mail from her box. She was shaking and crying.

“I’m so afraid,” she said.

Five years later, a delusional president clings to the fear he helped instill into that woman. And he attempts, whenever possible, to continue to add to that fear. Because the leaders of the U.S. only care about one feeling as far as the public goes - fear.

Because as far as the occupation on Iraq goes, Bush and his PNACian overlords flat out mock the will of the American people.

From the AP:

… Bush said: “I recognize there are a handful there, or some, who just say, ‘Get out, you know, it’s just not worth it. Let’s just leave.’ I strongly disagree with that attitude. Most Americans do as well.”

However, in a poll released Friday by CBS and The New York Times, 63 percent supported a troop withdrawal timetable of sometime next year. Another poll earlier this month from USA Today and Gallup found 59 percent backing a withdrawal deadline that the U.S. should stick to no matter what’s happening in Iraq.

Bush aides say poll questions are asked so many ways, and often so imprecisely, that it is impossible to conclude that most Americans really want to get out. Failure, Bush says, is not what the public wants - they just don’t fully understand that that is just what they will get if troops are pulled out before the Iraqi government is capable of keeping the country stable.

So as Bush looks at the will of the American public and flatly denies it, he and his party crank up the fear machine again to hopefully paralyze the public. Just one look at the recent Republican debate should be enough to show anyone that fear has an established place on the GOP platform. And we should be in for 16 months of terror as the 2008 elections loom in the distance.

“They viciously attacked us before we went to Iraq, and they’ve been attacking ever since. They are a threat to your children, David,” said Bush.

“America will be safer with a Republican president,” said Rudy Giuliani.

“The terrorists know what they want and they will stop at nothing to get it. By force and intimidation, they seek to impose a dictatorship of fear, under which every man, woman, and child lives in total obedience to their ideology. Their ultimate goal is to establish a totalitarian empire, a caliphate, with Baghdad as its capital. They view the world as a battlefield and they yearn to hit us again. And now they have chosen to make Iraq the central front in their war against civilization,” said Dick Cheney.

Since 9/11, President Bush has asked just two things from the American public:

1) To shop.
2) To be afraid.

Those who try and bend their opponents’ will by fear are not leaders. They are, by definition, terrorists. They know what they want and they will stop at nothing to get it.

But they won’t, provided we’re not afraid.

-WKW

Memorial Day: A day to commemorate those who gave all - and to apologize

For the past five years, Memorial Day consistently causes many mixed feelings. It is a day to remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for their country. And there is no confusion over the fact that the memories of these fallen soldiers are to be honored.

It is our own behavior that Memorial Day shines a light on. And Memorial Day should now be as much a day to apologize as a day to honor. A day for the U.S. citizens, all of us, to apologize for using our military so haphazardly and ineffectively, and treating them with such disrespect. We underfund them, send them into unwinnable situations, and treat the wounded with near malice.

On Memorial Day we honor the fallen. And next year we’ll honor even more that have made the ultimate sacrifice. And we’ll need to apologize again.

Suggested Memorial Day reading:

“Militants Widen Reach as Terror Seeps Out of Iraq” — N.Y. Times.

“Al Qaeda terrorism in Iraq foreseen” — The Boston Globe.

“Walter Reed patients told to keep quiet” — Army Times.

“U.S. Security Contractors Open Fire in Baghdad” — Washington Post

“Soldiers with PTSD Need Better Care, Experts Tell Committee” — Scripps Howard Foundation Wire

“Doubts Grow as G.I.’s in Iraq Find Allies in Enemy Ranks” — N.Y. Times.

“U.S. Deaths Near Grim Memorial Day Mark” — Associated Press

“Bush: be prepared for more bloodshed in Iraq” — The Independant

-WKW

Let a Senate Guru keep you up to date in 2008

Just a quick note: While the main lights in 2008 will be shining on the Presidential election, there are vital elections happening throughout the Senate that are just as, if not more important.

So, having gotten an e-mail hyping it some, I took a look at Senate 2008 Guru. Here you’ll get just an endless barrage of news on U.S. Senate races around the nation (from a decidedly left viewpoint, mind you).

But the Guru puts some serious work into this blog, and consistently uncovers gems. If you want to get up to date on what next year’s Senate races are looking like, head over and take a look.

-WKW

The next attack or tornado could usher in a new U.S.

All it will take is one incident. A terrorist attack on a major city. A tornado wiping out some coastline. Just one incident. And we will be living in an entirely different world.

When the documents “National Security Presidential Directive/NSPD 51″ and “Homeland Security Presidential Directive/HSPD-20″ were released, it gave President George W. Bush responsibility “for ensuring constitutional government” in the case of catastrophic attack.

“It defines a ‘catastrophic emergency’ as ‘any incident, regardless of location, that results in extraordinary levels of mass casualties, damage, or disruption severely affecting the U.S. population, infrastructure, environment, economy, or government function,’ ” wrote Matthew Rothschild for The Progressive.

Among the efforts coordinated by the President would ensuring the capability of the three branches of government to “provide for orderly succession” and “appropriate transition of leadership.”

The document designates a National Continuity Coordinator, who would be the Assistant to the President for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism.

Currently holding that post is Frances Fragos Townsend.

She is required to develop a National Continuity Implementation Plan and submit it within 90 days.

As part of that plan, she is not only to devise procedures for the Executive Branch but also give guidance to “state, local, territorial, and tribal governments, and private sector owners and operators of critical infrastructure.”

The secretary of Homeland Security is also directed to develop planning guidance for “private sector critical infrastructure owners and operators,” as well as state, local, territorial, and tribal governments.

“I guess the obvious question here is why this directive is necessary if the president doesn’t intend to usurp real power from the other two branches of government, because it certainly sounds like what’s being suggested is a coup that keeps a pretty façade of constitutional government,” wrote Melissa McEwan on the subject.

One incident. Look how the U.S. has changed fundamentally since 9/11. We are a nation that treats the Constitution with scorn, despises rule of law, spies on its citizens, condones torture and denies habeas corpus, among other things.

Our leaders quickly ushered in clamps on civil liberties and geared up the war machine for their own purposes as the dust from 9/11 was still settling. More than five years later, with a failure of historical proportions going on in Iraq, President Bush looked at the American public and again invoked 9/11. And again. And again. After gaining the war funding he wanted from an impotent Congress, the President looked at the nation and told them to be afraid.

And nearly six years after the fact, the Patriot Act still remains. And we’re still being spied on. And they have more plans on deck for the next attack.

Just one incident and it all changes even more. Shout “panic” if you will, but there’s nothing panicky about looking to history as a guide. The U.S. is a fundamentally changed nation since 9/11. And they have plans to change it even more. It will just take one incident.

-WKW

Terrorists are after David Gregory’s children!

In a shocking announcement at the White House today, President Bush made it clear to NBC reporter David Gregory that terrorists want to kill his children.

“They viciously attacked us before we went to Iraq, and they’ve been attacking ever since. They are a threat to your children, David,” said Bush.

Gregory’s children could not be reached for comment, nor did Gregory respond with “Don’t talk about my children, asshole,” as would be considered proper in normal human discourse when a sitting President uses your own children as a reason to continue to occupy a nation it pre-emptively attacked, while droolingly talking about the “heavy fighting” to come.

See the video at The Huffington Post.

-WKW

Legally speaking, Dick Cheney’s daughter had a child, and Heather Poe has nothing to do with it

Remember, asking Dick Cheney why he supports an Administration that despises gay rights is totally out of line. This is between him and his daughter Mary. Oh yeah, and fuck Heather Poe and any rights she may believe she has.

Andrew Sullivan pointed out the money quote.

According to reports, Mary’s homosexual partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, “will have no legal relationship with her child. She can’t adopt as a second parent. She won’t have her name on the birth certificate.”

-WKW

Paul Wolfowitz the perfect example of who is running the U.S.

It’s not that hard to figure out the psyches of the group of thugs and semi-pro Risk players that have been running the U.S. for the past six-plus years. Take Paul Wolfowitz, architect of the glorious Iraqi quagmire, and former head of the World Bank.

Let’s see what ol’ Paul has been up to this century:

Helped lead the U.S. into a catastrophe in Iraq.

Rewarded by being given the top spot at the World Bank.

Gives his girlfriend preferential treatment at the World Bank.

Forced out of the World Bank for giving his girlfriend preferential treatment, despite desperately clinging to his job.

Gets dumped by his girlfriend.

These are the people running the United States.

-WKW

MIWOMIT Presents: The Perfect Piñata

[WKW Note: I had tried to e-mail a copy of this post to someone, but due the repeated use of the word “penis” the spam filter kept rejecting. So then I replaced the word “penis” with “piñata” and tried sending again. It still didn’t work, but now changing it back seems wrong.]

Hello again everyone and welcome to “Movies I watched on My Ipod Theatre” the blog post where we look back at a movie I recently watched on my Ipod, then chat amiably about things that may or may not have anything to do with the film.

Today, we look at piñata.

The Perfect Piñata

“From the dawn of time, it’s been man’s most enduring relationship … ” begins The Perfect Piñata, a 2006 UK documentary by Krishna Govender, as it takes you on a look at the piñata enlargement game and those that need it, and those that just think they need it.

Let there be no doubt that The Perfect Piñata is the type of viewing experience that will have a man pondering his own piñata.

Personally, I’m perfectly happy with my piñata, and it seems as though the one other human who matters in the life of my piñata is happy with it, as well. Of course, it’s by no means a threatening piñata. The type of piñata that stands on street corners, whistling at girls and trying to show how much it can lift.

No, my piñata is the type of piñata you’d take to a ballgame. If you needed butter, and lived near my piñata, my piñata would lend you some without question. It’s a happy, mind-its-own-business, credit to the community type of piñata. If my piñata were a member of society, its name would be Joe and it would be an insurance agent. And when people talked about Joe, they’d say “Joe, yeah, he’s a pretty good guy. A straight shooter.” If my piñata were in NASCAR, it would consistently finish 13th. Not winning any big awards or garnering massive press, but developing a strong, loyal fan base. My piñata would always eat lunch at the same diner, and tip just slightly better than the previous piñata, but not so much that the waitresses rushed to serve it.

But back to the film.

There’s lots and lots of piñata in this film. There’s a young guy who thoughtfully expresses how his inner needs will be met if his now slightly larger than average piñata were even more slightly above average. There’s another guy who started a career teaching people the vast complexities of jelqing at his Web site, Matters of Size. Jelqing is basically the stretching of the piñata as a way to hope that it gets longer. It’s sort of the “If you keep making that face, it will stay that way” approach to piñata enlargement.

“Invest a little bit in your piñata, people, because it’s worth it,” said Mike Salvini, master jelqer.

In the end, what you take from The Perfect Piñata is that there are a wide variety of those that want to alter their piñata. There’s even a guy whose fallen in love with having silicone injected into his piñata and testicles, leaving his testicles at nearly two feet in circumference. It’s the scene, man. Dude’s genitalia looks like a soccer ball wearing a cap. Completely unusable in matters sex for him, but wild nonetheless.

The film does touch on those with actual problems who can benefit from piñata enlargement. Two percent of men have a micropiñata, less than five centimeters. These are men with loneliness and depression, who can benefit greatly both physically and psychologically with enlargement. The film also broaches the subject of those born with mixed genitalia, but doesn’t focus too much effort on a subject that is more than weighty enough for discussion on its own.

Mainly The Perfect Piñata focuses on men who seem to be suffering from a cousin of the illness that some with eating disorders suffer. They are looking to fit societal standards that don’t really exist. If there are underlying emotions of those the documentary spoke with, it’s of sadness and/or a disassociation from reality.

“Wow, that’s what the perfect man should be, especially when you see them with these gorgeous women,” says Dean, who underwent piñata enlargement during the course of the documentary, about male porn stars.

When you’ve come to the conclusion that male porn stars are the perfect men, it could be time to reassess your values.

In the end, however, you get the general feeling of “what of it.” There are risks to these procedures but many men take them willingly. In most cases, it has the same social significance of breast augmentation. Overall, one would wish for a world where less importance was placed on the piñata, but if men with perfectly fine piñatas want them enhanced, understand the risks and have the means, well, this is a free country, even for piñatas.

The Perfect Piñata is interesting and not for the faint of heart. And watching it will make you think of your piñata if you happen to own one. And if you do, trust me when I say this: your piñata is likely as friendly as mine. Have yours give Joe a call sometime and they can have lunch at his favorite diner.

-WKW

Crossposted at Shakesville

Only George W. Bush is allowed to give Osama bin Laden pyschological victories, says Bob Kerrey

Bob Kerrey, a former Democratic senator from Nebraska and member of the 9/11 Commission, has had enough of the Democratic Party trying to keep his country out of the war. He’s tired of Democrats handing Osama bin Laden psychological victories.

We are the Unites States. We will impose democracy on anyone we want. And if we’re going to give psychological victories to a guy who killed thousands of our citizens and got away with it, well, it’s going to come from the top.

The Left’s Iraq Muddle

At this year’s graduation celebration at The New School in New York, Iranian lawyer, human-rights activist and Nobel laureate Shirin Ebadi delivered our commencement address. This brave woman, who has been imprisoned for her criticism of the Iranian government, had many good and wise things to say to our graduates, which earned their applause.

But one applause line troubled me. Ms. Ebadi said: “Democracy cannot be imposed with military force.”

What troubled me about this statement-a commonly heard criticism of U.S. involvement in Iraq-is that those who say such things seem to forget the good U.S. arms have done in imposing democracy on countries like Japan and Germany, or Bosnia more recently. …

Suppose we had not invaded Iraq and Hussein had been overthrown by Shiite and Kurdish insurgents. Suppose al Qaeda then undermined their new democracy and inflamed sectarian tensions to the same level of violence we are seeing today. Wouldn’t you expect the same people who are urging a unilateral and immediate withdrawal to be urging military intervention to end this carnage? I would. …

This does not mean that Saddam Hussein was responsible for 9/11; he was not. Nor does it mean that the war to overthrow him was justified-though I believe it was. It only means that a unilateral withdrawal from Iraq would hand Osama bin Laden a substantial psychological victory.

-WKW

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