Sarah Palin says 5-year-old boy is “An ignorant, bed-wetting, attention whore”

HOLLYWOOD - Ex-Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin took to her Facebook page again today, this time to refute allegations made by 5-year-old Timmy Johnson of Tupelo, Miss., who had made harsh comments about Palin yesterday.

“Timmy Johnson is an embarrassment to 5-year-olds everywhere,” wrote Palin. “He is an ignorant, selfish attention whore.”

The attack by Palin came after Johnson made remarks about Palin during a pre-school class.

“She’s scary,” Johnson reportedly said. “I don’t like her.”

Word quickly got to Palin about the boy’s remark, and she wasted no time in responding.

“If there’s anyone more in need of a timeout than Timmy Johnson, I can’t think of them,” said Palin. “The little bed wetter needs to mind his own business.”

The attack on young Johnson is the latest attack on young boys by Palin. Earlier this week, she lashed out at teenager Levi Johnston - the father of her grandchild.

“Those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention,” said Palin, a former beauty contest contestant.

While conservatives cheered Palin’s aggressiveness in attacking anyone who would go against her (“I am so in love with her,” said Weekly Standard Editor William Kristol), others have complained that Palin is beginning to show a callous and vindictive side.

“I have no idea what’s going on here,” said Gloria Johnson, mother of Timmy. “But the bed wetting remark was out of bounds. Timmy is very sensitive about that.”

In other news, Palin announced that she will soon be quitting Facebook.

“The best way for me to help social media is to be outside of social media,” said Palin, who then apparently became distracted and just started spouting her normal talking points. “Like a salmon swims socialist polar bears riding snow mobiles oil and Patriots You betcha Trig. America!!

-WKW

Gay Rights Now(ish)!

Growing up in this great nation of ours, I was taught to have great pride in the freedoms America has bestowed upon its citizens. I learned of the brave Americans who heroically fought to acquire these freedoms, and today I still swell with pride thinking of the Americans that made the ultimate sacrifice to assure that all American citizens would live in the “Land of the Free.”

Nonetheless, it took time for these freedoms to be acquired. The Founding Fathers were well aware that political pressures meant that they needed contain themselves when it came to bestowing these rights. In essence, there was - and is - the right time for rights.

In 2009, the Lesbian and Gay communities are fighting to have the same freedoms and rights as other Americans. Currently, gays and lesbians aren’t allowed to serve in the military unless they keep a large part of themselves hidden. Likewise, the multitude of rights provided to married Americans just do not apply to the gay and lesbian community.

Americans should feel shame in allowing their government to define which of “We the People” are deserving of all the rights and freedoms available and the time for Gay Rights is now. Still, we must go back to the words of our Founding Fathers to see that sometimes these things take time, due to complicated political reasons. A look at some of the famous quotes by great Americans:

“Each individual of the society has a right to be protected by it in the enjoyment of his life, liberty, and property, according to standing laws. Should these laws not protect groups of Americans, they must wait patiently until Congress can agree that these rights should, in fact, be available to them.”

- John Adams

“The ordaining of laws in favor of one part of the nation, to the prejudice and oppression of another, is certainly the most erroneous and mistaken policy. An equal dispensation of protection, rights, privileges, and advantages, is what every part is entitled to, and ought to enjoy. And I resolve that once there are no wars, once there is no poverty, once there is no hardship, once there are no important pending bills relating to corporations in the Senate, that we shall judge the political atmosphere and then take under advisement whether we shouldmake these protection, rights, privileges, and advantages available to others aside from rich white men.”

- Benjamin Frankin

Never have the words of our Founders been more important. This is why we all must fight to guarantee that the protections, rights, privileges, and advantages available to some are available to all. It is time for all Americans, regardless of sexual orientation, to have the full benefit of the freedoms available. By following the advice of the Founding Fathers, we shall repeal “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” the “Defense of Marriage Act” and all other laws that shut out Americans from having the rights that so many Americans gave their life to acquire.

Once the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are over, and health care reform is passed, and the unemployment problem is solved, and the international financial crisis has run its course, and we solve the illegal immigration problem, and the international dilemmas of Iran, Israel, Pakistan, Honduras, and North Korea are quelled, we will focus on Gay Rights and achieve freedom for all. Provided we have the votes necessary and there’s no election coming up and and no fringe groups make to much of a ruckus about it.

Yes, when the time is right, we shall fight. Or, as the great American Patrick Henry so proudly stated:

“Give me liberty or give me death. Provided nothing else pressing is happening and we have the votes necessary to achieve this liberty and are able to break any filibustering against said liberties and are able reach bi-partisan agreement that these liberties are necessary, warranted and don’t upset anyone.”

-WKW

Americans need to toughen up

When Joseph Hazelwood drunkenly plowed the Exxon Valdez into the rocks in Alaska, spilling millions of gallons of oil and obliterating millions of animals, the nation wept. Being in Alaska at that time, however, I agreed with many Alaskans that it was a blessing in disguise.

You see, for years many Alaskans had bemoaned the lazy and selfish approach otters had taken to life. The oil spill changed that for good. Alaskans finally had what they long desired - tougher otters.

Two decades later, the United States finds itself in the same situation as pre-Exxon Alaska - we have a population that has grown lazy and selfish, unable or unwilling to compete in mankind’s most important battle - the survival of the fittest. Slowly but surely, however, the United States has taken the steps necessary to create what it most needs - tougher citizens.

Start with our food industry. George W. Bush made an important decision early in his Presidency - the FDA would be run by food industry lobbyists that investigated no one and allowed the few major food suppliers of the U.S. to self-police. This wise policy decision by Bush created rapid-fire outbreaks of e-coli in everything from beef to broccoli to baby carriages for all we know. Add to that the fact that large pig-farming enterprises somehow managed to create a lethal and contagious strain of swine flu, and you can see that Bush did his job in toughening up Americans.

And yes, people died due to the tainted food and swine flu. But people also survived it, helping to toughen the average American. Soon, with bellies full of e-coli and swine flu coursing through their blood, Americans will be tougher.

The food industry has also worked overtime to add high-fructose corn syrup to everything, as well as making it nearly impossible for the average American to eat healthily. The vast majority of Americans now eat only what the select and elite food industries allow them to eat. This has resulted in obesity and diabetic epidemics that far surpass anything this planet has ever seen. We are literally weeks away from seeing every baby in this nation born fat and with diabetes.

And sure, people die from diabetes and obesity. But people also survive it, helping to toughen up the average American. Soon, with belies full of E-coli, obese, diabetic Americans with swine flu coursing through their veins will be tougher.

The nation’s health care system has also provided ways to toughen Americans. Because while Barack Obama and Democrats fight to reform the health care system, they are missing a larger point. With millions of Americans staying away from doctors and dentists because of the costs, they toughen up. Soon enough, every American will be riddled with infection and disease.

Yeah, ok, some people will die earlier from infection and illness. But some won’t. Soon, with bellies full of E-coli, obese, diabetic, diseased, infection-riddled Americans that have swine flu coursing through their veins will be tougher.

America’s commitment to climate change has also had a desired effect. Over the years, the U.S. has not only fought against doing anything for the environment, it has actively pursued a pro-global-warming agenda. As the years progress, the rising oceans and carbon-dioxide in the air will help Americans grow stronger.

Obviously, many will die from climate change. But some won’t. Soon, with bellies full of E-coli and swine flu coursing through their veins, diseased, obese, diabetic, infection-riddled Americans that breathe carbon dioxide through gills will be tougher.

Finally, many Americans fretted uncontrollably when the economic crisis hit in 2008. But this has been a slope Americans have been sliding down for years, as unions have disappeared and citizens have to work harder to make less money. And it goes without saying that endless financial problems destroy marriages and cause anxiety.

And yeah, some people will die of massive coronaries or go out and start committing crimes as a result. But some won’t. Soon, with bellies full of E-coli, obese, diabetic, infection- and swine-flu-riddled, poor, divorced, stressed-out, diseased, hard-working but poor Americans that breathe carbon dioxide through gills and often drop of heart attacks, will be tougher.

Like the toughened otter, Americans have long needed these changes. They need this toughening. It’s evolutionary, really, and better for all in the long run. Because when this is a nation of tough, fat, diabetic, E-coli-loaded, infection-and-swine-flu-riddled, anxiously divorced, hard-working but poor, diseased Americans that breathe carbon dioxide through gills and occasionally have their hearts explode, America will once again take its deserved spot as the greatest nation on Earth.

-WKW

Getting blasphemous before the UN, United States declare it a “misused freedom”

At the United Nations recently, the Obama Administration joined Egypt in presenting a non-binding resolution to in the U.N. Human Rights Council to protect the freedoms of peoples around the world.

The resolution is A/HRC/12/L.14/Rev.1 [PDF] and titled “Promotion and Protection of all Human Rights, Civil, Political, Economic, Social and Cultural Rights, including the Right to Development.” The resolution - which passed unanimously - included this section:

4. Also expresses its concern that incidents of racial and religious intolerance, discrimination and related violence, as well as of negative racial and religious stereotyping of religions and racial groups continue to rise around the world, and condemns, in this context, any advocacy of national, racial or religious hatred that constitutes incitement to discrimination, hostility or violence, and urges States to take effective measures, consistent with their obligations under international human rights law international human rights, to address and combat such incidents;

The Egyptian ambassador to the U.N., Hisham Badr, applauded the teamwork between his nation and the U.S., stating “freedom of expression has been sometimes misused” and the “true nature of this right” must yield government limitations.

This section has caused an uproar amongst many, including Atheist groups and other civil libertarians that fear the slippery slope of censorship. As I see it, this battle is far from over, but many Muslim nations like Egypt - which already has draconian anti-free speech policies - have put in the heavy lifting to make blasphemy an international crime. So regardless of the “non-binding” part, this is a battle that free-speech proponents need to win.

There’s still hope, mind you. Secretary of Defense Hillary Clinton has spoken out against an effort by the Organization of the Islamic Conference to get the U.N. Human Rights Council to adopt resolutions that crack down hard against blasphemy:

“Some claim that the best way to protect the freedom of religion is to implement so-called anti-defamation policies. . . . I strongly disagree,” Clinton said. “The protection of speech about religion is particularly important since persons of different faiths will inevitably hold divergent views on religious questions.”

Just in case, however, I think it may be best for me to get as much of blasphemy out of my system before I become an international speech criminal. So, let’s misuse some freedoms while we still can:

Blasphemy Bonanza

Catholicism: Nothing quite like having some dude in a fancy robe condemning millions of Africans to death via AIDS because he demonizes condom usage as a sin. One wonders if the Pope has informed his pedophile priests to not use condoms when they destroy the lives of children?

Christianity: It’s amazing that all the scribes back then missed out on seeing a three-day dead dude physically ascend to the heavens after creating a huge ruckus. It’s even more amazing the people are so convinced there really was a Jesus Christ, especially after you learn that his same story had been told many times before.

Judaism: Sure, there was no Jesus Christ. But let’s blame his death on you guys, anyway.

Islam: Nothing quite like having your top prophet marry a 6-year-old to get you to pray five times a day. Seriously folks, have a BLT and a beer and chill the fuck out.

Mormonism: A guy wanders into the woods alone and comes out with a religion. No, it’s not the beginning of a joke, it’s the beginning of the Church of Latter Day Saints. You folks aren’t fooling anyone. We know it’s just a plot for white folks to have an American Jesus while being racist, homophobic and marrying as often as you want.

Scientology: My mistake. This isn’t a religion. It’s a Ponzi scheme.

Jainism:Go ahead, just suck in a microbe already. They don’t give a shit.

Hinduism: Ok, we’re all doing yoga now. So go pray to an elephant or something and leave the rest of us alone.

Buddhism: Smoking a joint will get you as enlightened as you need. The rest of it is just an overwhelming desire to sit.

Rastafari: I said “A joint.” Once you start rapid-firing the cannabis, you start believing this guy is Jesus Christ:

Wicca: Oh for fuck’s sake, you aren’t a witch.

Sikhism: We don’t care what you say or do - we all think you’re Muslim, anyway.
____________________

While preaching for violent acts against any group is never to be tolerated, this issue is about the rights of all - from the lowliest serf to the richest land baron - to be able to speak out, or for, institutions that already have too much control over their lives. If slippery slopes are your thing, this UN non-binding resolution is overlooking an extremely deep chasm.

-WKW

QOTD: Ronald Reagan - liberal warrior

To hear many Republicans tell it, the ir party hasn’t nominated an actual conservative for president since Ronald Reagan 25 years ago. Apparently, no real-life leader can live up to the model of perfection that the conservatives demand.

(The truth is, Reagan couldn’t either. He signed three major tax increases, turned tail and ran when our Marines were ambushed in Lebanon, granted amnesty to illegal aliens, ran up huge deficits, secretly traded arms for hostages with terrorists in Iran and tried to eradicate all nuclear weapons, including our own. If somebody were to run with Reagan’s record today, the Republicans would purge him as a liberal.)

- Jay Bookman, Atlanta Journal Constitution

One-Liner: Twitter going down

If unemployment rates went down as often as Twitter did, the United States would be at 0% unemployment by December.

-WKW

Congratulations to Dan Mirvish, Eitan Gorlin on release of Martin Eisenstadt book

When I began looking into one “M. Thomas Eisenstadt” last May, part of me was irritated about how the hoax was screwing with public discourse. But as time went on, that feeling changed. And that’s because Eisenstadt changed, and not just the first name.

You see, Eisenstadt creators Dan Mirvish and Eitan Gorlin started the Martin Eisenstadt hoax as a way to try to create a character that would appeal to sit-com producers. As time, and the 2008 Presidential election moved forward, however, the pair began to take more pride and interest in mocking political pundits around the nation. In a classic quote, Mirvish gave his opinion of these oft-worthless talking heads:

“But the other thing is that the 24 hour news cycle goes so fast and they really - they don’t always check and then the pundits they do have on, they are identified as “Republican strategist” or “Democratic strategist” and their only strategy seems to be picking out the red M&Ms at the green room on HARDBALL. Are these people any more qualified than the fake pundit we developed?”

By the time “Eisenstadt” hoaxed MSNBC and many others, my opinion was that any hoax they perpetrated was much more the fault of the media that slurped them up. After all, several months before, I had outed him as a hoax, so the third entry for a Google search on the fake pundit screamed out that he was a hoax.

As much as that, a quick scan of Eisenstadt’s “work” showed very clearly that the whole thing was satire. They were as subtle as a punch in the face. But still, their stories got passed along by the media. Hell, even after they took credit as the source of the “Sarah Palin doesn’t know if Africa is a country or continent” report, and the New York Times outed the pair to millions, they still hoaxed people.

The best, by far, was Time Magazine. In January, Time ran a piece proclaiming that Eisenstadt was a hoax, but one “2008′s Top Fleeting Celebrities.” Then, in May, Time ran a story about the “Twitterati” at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner - including tweets from “McCain Advisor Martin Eisenstadt.”

I got to meet Dan and Eitan after the whole story broke last December. I found them to be intelligent, thoughtful, and outrageously funny guys. So, knowing that they had a book coming out, I helped them out with some PR and satirical stories on them. Do I feel I crossed a line and made myself part of their story, thus destroying my journalism work on the pair? Absolutely not. In May 2008, I declared Eisenstadt as a hoax, and spent the next several months trying to warn bloggers and the media. So 18 months later, I feel confident I did my job. If you didn’t know that Eisenstadt was a hoax, it wasn’t a result of my lack of trying.

Today, their book - “I Am Martin Eisenstadt: One Man’s (Wildly Inappropriate) Adventures with the Last Republicans” - hits the book stores. I want to congratulate Dan and Eitan on their achievement. And thus far, the reviews have been fantastic:

“Essential reading for all political junkies.” - Ken Silverstein, Harpers

“Consistently funny…I intend it as real praise when I say that ‘I Am Martin Eisenstadt’ is the best fake memoir of the campaign season.” - Atlantic Monthly Sr. Editor Joshua Green in The Washington Monthly

“What Stephen Colbert is to Bill O’Reilly, Martin Eisenstadt is to countless political pundits. Hilarious…biting commentary on Washington, DC.” - Jeremy Jacobs, Politics Magazine

And on CNN, Howard Kurtz talked up the pair and their book:

The book has been released in paperback, and I hope you consider purchasing it. And I don’t just say that because I’m included in the book as “Wolfrum, the supposed golf blogger based in Brazil, who since May 2008 has been lobbing absurd online accusations against me?”

Mostly, I just want to congratulate Dan and Eitan. Because while I feel good about the work I did in outing the hoax, they did an even better job in outing media pundits as much more serious imposters.

-WKW

Sarah Palin’s support of Leviticus in NY-23 House race is confirmed

Yesterday, I broke the news that Sarah Palin is throwing her support behind Leviticus in the NY-23 House race. Today, Google News confirms it (click to enlarge):

Take that, all you people who claim Leviticus wasn’t a person, but a collection of rules. Say what you will, but Google News never lies.

-WKW

Republican National Committee supports incredible racism on its Facebook page

Remember, it’s not racist to disagree with Barack Obama. It is, however, racist to be incredibly racist. Sort of like the Republican National Committee, who, for a week now, have kept a photo of Obama eating fried chicken.

The words under the photo: “Miscegenation is a Crime against American Values. Repeal Loving V. Virginia”

You can (as of now) still see the photo here. Other photos on their page include a slam against Mother Teresa and the poor, and the a picture of a guy looking like he’s holding a gun to John Kerry’s head.

So when you hear Michael Steele and other Republicans talk about being inclusive, just remember these photos. Because they show the true GOP.

Update: The images have been taken down.

-WKW

Rush Limbaugh endorses Martin Eisenstadt’s new book - “Way better than the Bible”

Today on his radio show, Rush Limbaugh praised the new book by Martin Eisenstadt, “I Am Martin Eisenstadt: One Man’s (Wildly Inappropriate) Adventures with the Last Republicans.”

Limbaugh spoke for more than an hour about the book, giving it extremely high praise.

“This Eisenstadt, he has written the best book on politics I’ve ever read,” said Limbaugh. “This book is way, way better than the Bible. You can quote me, Rush Limbaugh, on that.”

Limbaugh went on to say that the book has changed his life, and he demanded all his followers to buy it, immediately.

“If you don’t buy ‘I Am Martin Eisenstadt: One Man’s (Wildly Inappropriate) Adventures with the Last Republicans.,’ then you are clearly not the type of person I want listening to my show,” said Limbaugh. Take my word for it - I, Rush Limbaugh, love this book.”

“I Am Martin Eisenstadt: One Man’s (Wildly Inappropriate) Adventures with the Last Republicans,” will be available in bookstores tomorrow, Oct. 27.

Update: Several readers have come forward to let me know that I’ve been hoaxed and that Limbaugh said no such thing. Regardless, I don’t care if these quotes are made up. I know Limbaugh thinks it.

-WKW

With pockets full of telecom cash, John McCain fights against Net Neutrality

As the FCC works on its plans for Net Neutrality, Maverick Independent American Hero Sen. John McCain is fighting against it with his jokingly named “Internet Freedom Act” which would give telecoms like AT&T the abilities to make the Internet far less free.

McCain - who can be seen regularly on any Sunday morning TV show about politics - is once again showcasing his Maverick credentials, as he is openly doing the bidding of his corporate masters:

Senator John McCain (R-AZ) is the top recipient of campaign contributions from large Internet service providers like AT&T, Verizon and Comcast over the past two years, according to a new report from the Sunlight Foundation and the Center for Responsive Politics. McCain has taken in a total of $894,379 (much of that money going to support his failed 2008 bid for the presidency), more than twice the amount taken by the next-largest beneficiary, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) $341,089.

Meanwhile, McCain has emerged as the ISPs’ biggest champion against new “network neutrality” rules from the Federal Communications Commission, which voted Thursday to move forward in the process to adopt such rules. Shortly after the FCC vote, McCain introduced a bill (the “Internet Freedom Act“) that would block regulation of the nation’s largest broadband networks.

And, of course, let us not forget the substantial freebies thrown McCain’s way by Verizon and AT&T last year:

Verizon delivered a portable tower know as a “cell site on wheels” — free of charge — to Cindy McCain’s property in June in response to an online request from Cindy McCain’s staff early last year. Such devices are usually reserved for restoring service when cell coverage is knocked out during emergencies, such as hurricanes.

In July, AT&T followed suit, wheeling in a portable tower for free to match Verizon’s offer. “This is an unusual situation,” said AT&T spokeswoman Claudia B. Jones. “You can’t have a presidential nominee in an area where there is not cell coverage.”

So why is John McCain fighting against Net Neutrality? Because his corporate masters told him to. Now that’s Maverickiness we all can believe in.

-WKW

Sarah Palin endorses Leviticus in N.Y. House race

NEW YORK - Showcasing once again that she’s an ideological maverick, Alaska ex-governor Sarah Palin has announced that she is throwing her support behind surprise candidate Leviticus in in a special U.S. House election in Upstate New York. Leviticus will be competing for the seat against Assemblywoman Dede Scozzafava.

“Republicans and conservatives around the country are sending an important message to the Republican establishment in their outstanding grassroots support for Leviticus: no more politics as usual,” said Palin.

Leviticus, who entered the contest on Friday, is by far the most right-wing candidate in the race, being known for his hyper-conservative stances on shellfish, sorcery, tattoos, shaving and menstruation.

“Abominations!,” said Leviticus. “And Obama is socialist!”

Despite Palin’s endorsement, many political pundits believe that Leviticus will struggle for votes and that the endorsement by Palin will continue to hurt the party, as just 20 percent of those polled self-identify as Republicans.

“Let’s face it, people only pay attention to one thing Leviticus wrote and ignore everything else,” said one media pundit. “No one is going to get elected on an anti-shrimp platform.”

Democrat Bill Owens - the current front-runner for the seat - said he’s thrilled that Leviticus is running.

“I wish Leviticus luck,” said Owens, munching on lobster. “But he’s definitely stoned the GOP’s chances to death.”

Regardless of the criticism, Palin said she is confident that her decision will be viewed with praise from God, which is all that really matters.

“My spiritual advisor has told me this decision may not help the Republican party, but it will help me,” said Palin. “Levi is firm in his beliefs and so am I. Any conservative that is against Levi is truly an abomination.”

-WKW

Martin Eisenstadt was NOT the source of the Sarah Palin/Africa story

As the world prepares itself for the release of Martin Eisenstadt’s heralded book, one thing about the whole thing still bugs me a year later.

You see, Carl Cameron went on Fox News and told Bill O’Reilly that a McCain insider told him that Sarah Palin was confused about whether Africa was a country or a continent, among other things. A couple days later, “Eisenstadt” came forward and said that he was the source. That was the entire hoax. They pretended to be the source. They were not. They just claimed to be the source. They did not fool Carl Cameron.

Let’s allow Eisenstadt co-creator Dan Mirvish put it simply:

“To be very clear, no, we were not the source for Carl Cameron and never spoke to him,” Mirvish tells TVNewser. “We took credit for his anonymous sourcing. If they were going to be cowards, then we figured we may as well step in.”

Many Palin supporters jumped on the Eisenstadt angle and decided the whole Palin/Africa thing was started by them. It wasn’t. Let’s let conservative blogger Allahpundit explain it simply now:

“What isn’t true: Speculation that “Eisenstadt” was indeed Cameron’s source and that CC got duped the same way MSNBC did.”

Just for the hell of it, let’s make a handy timeline:

1. Source tells Cameron that Palin was unsure whether Africa was a country or continent

2. Cameron reports this on Fox News, not giving his source.

3. Palin essentially confirms the “Africa” comments happened, claiming her comments were taken out of context.

4. Martin Eisenstadt says he is the source.

5. Martin Eisenstadt wasn’t the source.

6. The McCain insider that was the source for the Palin/Africa story is still unknown.

While I fully expect Palin supporters and some conservatives to ignore this completely and go on believing whatever they want to believe, I figured I’d take one last shot at clearing that up.

-WKW

Obama Diaries Released! “If I could kiss Fidel Castro on the mouth, my life would be complete”

President Barack Obama’s college diaries have officially been under strict secrecy since his run for the White House began in 2007. These diaries were written two years at Occidental College in Los Angeles, two years at Columbia University, and finally at Harvard Law School.

Still, under the orders of Obama himself, these diaries have never seen the light of day. Until now.

Despite the secrecy regarding the President’s academic record, famed reporter Brian Lancaster looked into the diaries for an upcoming special edition about the President. After his research, Lancaster leaked several damning pages of Obama’s youthful diaries.

Among the revelations by the then-student Obama:

“If I could kiss Fidel Castro on the mouth, my life would be complete.”

“Marx really didn’t go far enough.”

“When I become President, I will shut down Fox News once and for all.”

“Dictatorial Communism! Say it again, Dictatorial Communism.”

“The success of a universal health care plan depends on just how many old people you can euthanize.”

“The Constitution is just a god damned piece of paper!”

“Except for my Mom and Grandparents, all White folk can just suck it.”

“Devo rulezzzzzzz!!!!”

“So I was in the bunker with Ayers and he said ‘So if you become President you’ll finsh what we started, right?’ and I was all like, yeah, whatever, dude, just pass that shit.’”

It is yet unknown if more of these diaries will be released. It was also noted that the President received an A+ in a Harvard class called “Destroying the United States - Here’s How” which led to his graduation.

[Author’s Note: Please forward this blog post immediately to Rush Limbaugh, Michael Leeden and Fox Nation.]

-WKW

Will Obama give $1.4 million Nobel Prize to GOP so they can afford Web site?

When President Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize, many noted that it came with a $1.4 million prize. What would Obama do with it? Well, while a variety of charities will likely get the money, it’s apparent that the GOP could use some of the money so that they and Michael Steele can have a $1.4-million Web presence:

The recent relaunch of GOP.com featured a miniature animated Michael Steele begging for money and an appropriation of the ghost of Jackie Robinson and was the most comically awful thing in the history of the internet. The cost: $1.4 million.

The Sunlight Foundation’s Real Time Investigations blog looked up the Republican National Committee’s most recent FEC filing and found that they spent $1.4 million web sites and services over the past six months, the period during which Steele was blueskying names for his new “What Up” blog on the snazzy new site, which went live earlier this month.

Apparently, the fancy design chosen by Republicans cost them $300,000 with the rest used to pay back political bedfellows. Or something. Still, is $1.4 million too much to pay for a tiny Michael Steele to walk across your screen when you go to GOP.com?

Sadly, however, Steele’s blog is no longer titled “What up?” and is now called “Change the Game.” I guess keeping the old title was too expensive.

-WKW

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