I love you, Bushmaster .223. You truly make me a man

I never thought this could happen to me …

My life was an ordinary one. My wife had left me two years earlier, taking the kids. My job with the cable company was unsatisfying but it paid the bills. I went to the bar three or four times a week. I played poker once a week with some guys I really didn’t even like. I was a nobody.

Then I saw her.

I was at Walmart to pick up something to eat and maybe a puzzle. I had some time on my hands - ok, I always had time on my hands - and I wandered about the store. That’s where she called to me.

She was long and sleek. Her power was undeniable, but her smouldering sensuality was undeniable.

“I’m AR-15,” she said. “Call me Bushmaster.”

Within minutes she was mine. I took her home that very night. And despite the irrational sexual tension between us, all I did that first night was sit her down and learn as much as I could about her. And there was so much to learn. She had, for instance:

• An aircraft grade forged 7075-T6 aluminum receiver is lightweight, highly corrosion-resistant, and machinable.
• A modular design that allows the use of numerous accessories such as after market sights, vertical forward grips, lighting systems, night vision devices, laser targeting devices, muzzle brakes/flash hiders, sound suppressors, bipods, etc., and makes repair easier
• A straight-line stock design that eliminates the fulcrum created by traditional bent stocks, reducing muzzle climb.
• A small caliber, accurate, light weight, high velocity round (.223/5.56x45mm)
• A front sight adjustable for elevationA wide array of optical aiming devices available in addition to or as replacements of iron sights
• A direct impingement gas system (as designed) with short or long stroke gas piston, or direct blowback operating systems available
• And a 30-round capacity magazine.

We fell asleep in each others arms.

I awoke to see her lying still beside me, I rubbed my hand down her firm, perfect skin. I could see her react as I slowly entered a round into her chamber. She wanted this as much as I did. She was my dream, my love, my life. My hands exploring every part of her, I entered her again and again and again and again …

Finally, it was too much. It jerked as my finger stroked its trigger, and she went off with the power of a million angels screaming in ecstasy. I stared at her, hopelessly lost in love.

I love you, AR-15. You truly make me a man. I will never let you be regulated.

 

Seven-year-old shot by neighbor

SPRINGDALE - A 7-year-old boy was killed at 7:30 a.m. this morning after being struck in the temple by an errant bullet. The boy, Bobby Jenkins, was “instantly killed” after being struck by an AR-15 round fired off by John Timson, a neighbor of the Jenkins family.

Timson - who reportedly had just bought the gun just last evening - was taken into custody under homicide charges. He was reportedly led from his home naked and screaming incoherently.

The round went through the Timson’s front window before striking the child and …

-WKW

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