Shades of gray

You can be against Israel attacking Gaza.

You can be against Hamas shooting rockets at Israeli citizens.

You can be against communism.

You can be against libertarianism.

You can be against destroying the social safety net.

You can be against fiscal irresponsibility.

You can be pro-business.

You can be pro-labor.

You can be against the United States’ foreign policies.

You can be proud of being and American.

Because only by recognizing and embracing the shades of gray can the red, white & blue continue to wave proudly.

-WKW

Friday Movie Idea: Stooges meet Saw

So here’s an idea for a movie. I saw that for some reason the Farrelly brothers thought a modern “Three Stooges” movie was a good idea. It tanked and got awful reviews, tho.

So the idea here is to make a sequel to that movie, but have it so the Stooges get abducted by a crazed, cannibalistic serial killer. Throughout the movie, the Stooges try their humor bits and then the killer cuts off their fingers to make them stop, and so on. In the end, all three Stooges die heinously and are devoured. The final shot is Shemp & Curly Joe at the funeral crying their eyes out and swearing revenge.

The theme behind the movie is that you should be nicer to your friends. I think people would watch and come away with something.

-WKW

I just won the Internet in 1994

This still may be the peak of the Internet. Time will tell.

-WKW

E-Card Goodness

 

-WKW

More things need to be made out of Nerf

The Nerfier the society, the better the society.

-WKW

Tweet

10 differences between a zygote and a baby

1. A zygote won’t keep you up at night.
2. A dust mite can’t eat a baby.
3. If you sit on a baby, you notice.
4. One bottle of zygote oil lasts forever.
5. Zygotes are flavorless.
6. Flushing a zygote won’t clog your toilet.
7. It’s impossible to juggle zygotes.
8. A dingo will never steal your zygote.
9. A zygote has little value on the black market.
10. A zygote isn’t a person.

-WKW

Tweet

A $billion here, a $billion there …

You know, if you can’t airdrop billions of dollars in unmarked bills into Iraq, I fear you can’t airdrop billions of dollars in unmarked bills anywhere.

-WKW

Coming Soon: The Apocalypse

I’m pretty sure there’s something in at least one of those Holy books that says the Apocalypse will be kicked off by a meeting of Cesar Milan and Deepak Chopra.

-WKW

Things about the U.S., Part 1

If you can’t look amazing in a bikini two weeks after having a child, you’re lazy and worthless.

-WKW

I Tweet, therefore I am

Give me 140 characters and I’ll give you … stuff. Here are some recent Tweets from yours truly:

• Reduce the Deficit Plan #2,329: Institute a Federal “Take a Penny, Leave a Penny” program.
• Breaking: 100% of people who watch only Fox News say Fox News is most trusted name in news.
• Everyone bitches about 10% unemployment, but who applauds the fact that 90% ARE employed. And that ain’t bad.
• Breaking: Dictionaries around the U.S. banned because you can use words inside to create really nasty sentences.
• Breaking: Feeling bad about hoax regarding his death, actor Johnny Depp shoots self.
• Breaking: Deepak Chopra tells everyone to fuck off, he’s having a bad day.
• I miss the Bush years when I used to get a check for $300 every 6-7 years.
• I wonder what Obama thinks about Gary Coleman’s arrest? Luckily for me, Jake Tapper will probably ask him.
• Breaking: Johnny Depp not dead. It was Chemical Ali. Honest mistake.

More Wolfrum witticisms can be found on Twitter: @wolfrum

-WKW

Random thoughts, random things

Just thinking …

One wonders if the allegedly hyper-liberal U.S. media will get around to talking about decades of U.S. involvement in Haiti and the results of that involvement. Ok, no need to wonder - never. So here’s some Chomsky from 2004 to help balance the scales.

In his first-round KO loss to Australian Danny Green, Roy Jones Jr. showed that he no longer has a chin. Or reflexes. Or hunger. Or just about anything a human would need to be a competitive boxer. The result? Big payday versus Bernard Hopkins!

No one could have ever anticipated that Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, in actuality, are mindless racist attention whores, dedicated to ratings and nothing else.

Thank God that Barack Obama finally took the war against Afghanistan seriously. Finally, we’re seeing the number of civilian deaths go up.

Maybe the next President will get around to regulating a financial industry gone mad.

So Arizona is closing its National Parks? If something doesn’t make money, it has no business existing in the U.S. Culture and society be damned.

The year is 2010. And people are standing in a federal court debatying whether Gay and Lesbians are harmful to their own children. Oh yeah, and if you’re Gay or Lesbian and in the military, you’re fucking fired.

If the Saints manage to win tomorrow, I could conceivably get interested in the NFL Playoffs this year. Even though the average NFL game only gives you 11 minutes of actual action.

-WKW

Hoping Landon Donovan thrives at Everton

I have been fairly harsh on Landon Donovan for a while, and for this I blame myself, as I believe I asked too much of him. He`s been a great leader of the National Team and has helped keep the MLS alive. So here`s hoping he does well in his venture at Everton and the English Premiere League and proves he belongs near the world`s top players.

-WKW

Where in the world is William K. Wolfrum’s Ipod?

Naila, Germany.

Which is kind of sad, as I am in Siena, Italy.

But that’s OK. Sometimes we like to vacation separately.

-WKW

Random Thought: Who were those guys?

Remember all the Republicans that fought tooth-and-nail against FDR’s post-depression agenda? No one else does, either.

-WKW

Random thoughts on Random things

1% pays 40% of taxes. Some see this as an assault on the rich. The clear-thinking are disturbed by the wealth gap.

Walter Cronkite. There will never be another. Because you have to have really good hair now.

-WKW

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